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He’s Just Not That Into You…

The film He’s just Not That Into You directed by Ken Kwaspis can be seen as a perfect example of radical romance in the 21st century. The movie is about nine people who are attempting to discover their ideals about love and relationships. The radical comes into play when they realize their own ideals and desires are completely different from those of their chosen partner. The center and main character of the film is a young woman by the name of Gigi who seems to continuously misinterpret the behavior of her romantic partners. With the help of our class texts I will discuss how this film portrays women, men, and relationships in the 21st century and will attempt to break down some of the radical issues the characters are facing through the film.
The central character in this film is an aggressively dating single young woman named Gigi. Gigi seems to always misread and misinterpret the actions and comments from her dates which make her believe they are in fact interested in continuing a relationship with her. After a date with Alex, her sought after new boyfriend, she goes into a panic when he never calls her back. She constructs a million and one ideas and comes up with countless excuses to reason this. After giving Alex and their wanted relationship an immense amount of attention and effort she comes to terms that she is done wasting her energy and is ready to move on. When this occurs the roles of both characters seem to switch. Alex now becomes obsessed with Gigi because of the lack of attention she is giving him and their relationship. This relationship can be seen as radical because Gigi did not receive the attention of Alex until he realized she was no longer interested. This can be related to the socially constructed stereotype of men wanting what they can’t have. Gigi’s actions can also be seen as post feminist. “Orr suggests that post feminism stresses the ability of women to make personal choices.(Barker 284) Gigi was able to finally and maturely make a decision to walk away from an imaginary relationship she had created.
Another radical relationship that occurs through this film is that of Janine, Ben, and Anna. Ben and Janine are married, but are starting to have difficulties in their marriage. Ben meets and begins a friendship relationship with a young yoga instructor named Anna whom he instantly becomes attracted to. They soon find out their feelings are mutual. They continue a flirtatious friendship under clearly false pretenses. Sure enough they begin to have an affair. While shopping with his wife Janine, Ben decides to reveal to her that he’s slept with someone else, Anna. Thought she is in fact devastated she actually blames herself for his actions and tells him she is willing to salvage their marriage. This relationship is also radical in various ways. Ben decides to have an affair with another woman breaking his marriage vows and not respecting monogamy. In Barkers science of sex, he explains how men are greater risk-takers and have higher propensity to find multiple partners. (Barker286) He also goes on to state that women are more verbal, cooperative and organized. We see this in the film when his wife, after finding out he has been unfaithful, decides to rationalize instead of turning to panic. She keeps her composure, begins to explain to him how she may be at fault for his actions and how she is still willing to work on re constructing their broken marriage.
Unlike most romantic films this films intent is to explain to the world that men are not complicated individuals. In regards to love and relationships, there are no mixed messages If he doesn’t ask you out, call soon after your date, or wants to come up to your apartment after your date, then he is just simply not that into you. “Men are less inclined to verbalize emotion.” (Barker287) Men are biologically better at expressing emotion through action rather than verbally. Women’s natural defense mechanisms allow them to come up with reasons as to why a guy never called. It’s a way that women keep from being overwhelmed by negative emotions but also keeps women with a denial mentality. The characters and the relationships they are representing are ones that are taking place in today’s 21st century.
In barkers Gender, Representation and media culture he explains how sexes are being understood by means of representation. “Sexual identity is constituted by ways of speaking about and disciplining bodies.” (Barker 306) Films such as these, allows us to create our image of the modern man and woman. It allows us to create stereotypes.”A stereotype involves the reduction of person to a set of exaggerated, usually negative, character traits. ‘Stereotyping refuses, essentializes, naturalizes and fixes “difference” (Hall, 1997c:258). (Barker307) This particular film creates stereotypes of women to be very dependent on relationships and men. They portray them to be anxious to please. They are presented as overly emotional and sentimental creatures. “Now, woman has always been man’s dependant, if not his slave; the two sexes have never shared the world in equality. And even today woman is heavily handicapped, though her situation is beginning to change. Almost nowhere is her legal status the same as man’s, and frequently it is much to her disadvantage. Even when her rights are legally recognised in the abstract, long-standing custom prevents their full expression in the mores.” (Simone deBeauvoir)





Beauvoir, De. "Simone De Beauvoir The Second Sex, Woman as Other 1949." Marxists Internet Archive. Web. 14 Oct. 2010. .




Barker, Chris. Cultural Studies Theory and Practice. Los Angeles: SAGE, 2008. Print.



Behrendt, Greg, and Liz Tuccillo. He's Just Not That into You: the No-excuses Truth to Understanding Guys. New York: Simon Spotlight Entertainment, 2004. Print.